A Few Fun Zombie Stories - WARNING: Minor Spoilers

Being that I'm going in and out of all sorts of medical facilities - escorting mom to cancer treatments and all - I've been a bit bored. Now, normally, the solution is bring a book. I came close. My mother-in-law sent me a new Kindle Fire to replace my slowly dying Kindle 3G. (Tip: Don't accidentally cover it in spilled soda.)

Since I'm fairly fond of morbid humor, I decided that nothing went better with doctor's offices than zombies. What's on my reading list lately? Take a look, but be mindful of the spoilers....



Warm Bodies, by Isaac Marion, is one of those movies/books where you look at it on the surface and wonder: What the hell was the author thinking? Is he on drugs? Did he dismember his neighbors' pets when he was a kid?

In spite of it's amusing and slightly wry narration, Warm Bodies has necrophilia at its core. After all, it's about a girl that falls in love with a zombie. The living, breathing humans actually call them 'corpses' in the colloquial. How can it not be necrophilia?

Then, you give it a chance. You actually sit down and watch it. Twice. And read the book. And boggle at... well, a lot.

For starters, it's heavily to loosely based on Romeo and Juliet depending on whether you read the book or watch the movie. It's easier to see the connection in the movie. The lead female is Julie and the male lead (zombie) is simply called 'R.' There's parental disapproval, a balcony scene, a war between the two leading 'families' - zombies and humans - and, of course, a willingness to die for each other. (Why else would a girl be willing to go running back into zombie territory with her zombie boyfriend?)

The ultimate enemy, though, is not the zombies. It's not the 'bonies.' It's not the humans. And, it's something that can be fixed.

That made me blink. It's totally against all the zombie movie standards. The characters are supposed to be in a hopeless situation. A situation that is likely to never be totally resolved. The living conditions of the human race are changed forever, and not for the better. It's supposed to be tragedy and despair. It's the end of the world, we're not supposed to be able to bring it back from the dead!

Like the old joke about the driver's license goes: Where'd this guy learn to write horror? Sears? JC Penny?

Now, I won't get into all the oddities. Even ignoring the insanity that is a zombie church service, zombie training grounds, or R getting married to another zombie and adopting zombie kids - things that they left out of the movie - the book makes no scientific or logical sense. It doesn't in any way, shape or form reflect the real world. It's a nice fantasy, but it wouldn't work in application.

No one has ever cured a disease the way they do. Unless, of course, this disease is in some way magical or purely psychological. But, the actual cause of the infection is never identified in the book. I can only conclude that the cure either wasn't intended to make sense or was supposed to be some form of miracle.

So, ladies and gentlemen, if there is a zombie apocalypse - and, I have to say, it would be one of the cooler ways for the world to die - don't use this as an instruction manual for survival. The odds of a zombie falling in love with their food and refusing to eat it are about the same as you deciding to go on a date with a (literal) cow, chicken or eggplant. For 99.999% of society, that isn't going to happen.

Still, it's a cute little love story with a happier ending than Shakespeare's version.... It is rather difficult to have a tragic ending in a book where the dead stand up, think, form complex societies, and fall in love.

Is it sad that the real twist ending would have been both characters permanently dying in some way - even though they died in the play that inspired it? I don't know. I just know that I enjoyed it immensely and look forward to getting my hands on the sequel.

Even with the lack of logic.

Feed, by Mira Grant, is also an interesting book. I have, in fact, read it three times now.

We open with a small group of bloggers being asked to cover the rise of a Presidential candidate. The twist is that it's coverage for election year 2040 and zombies roam the landscape. People live in constant fear of outbreaks, and you can spontaneously 'amplify' into being a zombie. Anything over 40lbs can turn your good day into a horrible one. That includes large dogs and horses.

Makes me glad I'm a cat person.

There are the usual political shenanigans, dinners, and all the good old-fashioned glad-handing. There are also mandatory blood tests before you enter buildings, areas where it's perfectly legal to shoot you (certain of infection or not), and a conspiracy that has its fingers in everything from political parties to the CDC.

Oddly, this isn't a book that has a huge amount of despair, either. It's not about the end of the world, it's about living with the world after the end comes. (A reference actually made very clear by the name of the two main characters' blog site: After the End Times.) What happens to the minds of people that constantly live in fear of rising up and eating their neighbors? What happens to the political system under that kind of pressure?

All in all, a highly entertaining read with elements of psychology woven carefully through it. I sincerely suggest it. I also don't know if I'm dreading or anticipating the inevitable movie deal.

For feel-good zombies: Warm Bodies
For more 'traditional' zombies with a background of conspiracy, murder, politics and betrayal: Feed

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